So, you all wonder, what's happened to the Spinster2000? Has she finally been arrested for all her crazy spinstering ways? Has she at last reformed her degenerate, spinster lifestyle? Or, was she merely too caught up in her wild, spinstering activities to report any of her adventures? Well . . .
OK, so my life in the past four weeks has been jam-packed, but mostly with work. Exciting? Well, I did make a 6'-2" male student into a woman with a larger rack than my own (oh my costuming powers are awesome . . . you may all cower in fear at my abilities . . . muahahahahahaaa!). I ordered a number of Edwardian corsets from a website called www.LoveFifi.com, using the college's money. I hunted down a pair of black, heeled dress shoes in a size 14. And, I got the sweetest pair of argyle knee socks from another website called www.GolfKnickers.com (oh yes, GolfKnickers.com . . . . they have 60 color combinations of golf knickers and argyle knee socks FOR MEN who wish to wear traditional golfing apparel . . . though why any man would choose to wear knickers and argyle knee socks . . . would the DOH want a set for the holidays??).
Needless to say, I've been working 16 hour days, kicking some serious booty when it comes to costumes and sets for the English Department's production of THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST. I will be posting some choice pictures in the near future for everyone to marvel at (muahahahahahahaaa!).
The Grandma arrived on OPENING NIGHT, heaven help me. I had to teach classes and work on last minute stuff for the show, so I had to send students to go and get her from the airport. I was in the middle of my Scenic Design class, and my students are all presenting their midterm projects when I get a panicked phone call from one of the students sent to fetch The Grandma . . . "Any clues on what she looks like? We can't find her." Oh, sweet Jeebus. Uhh, she looks like a grandma: older, white and grey/black hair, SHORT, plump--you know, like a grandma is supposed to look.
In the meantime, I return to my class and attempt to give my full attention to my scenic design students, all the while wondering what my mother will say when I tell her that The Grandma disappeared somewhere at the Hartford airport, probably abducted by hungry ninjas wanting her to bake an apple pie. Then, finally, about ten or fifteen minutes later I get a follow-up phone call: "We've found her and we're in the car." I can hear the Grandma saying something in the background (probably something like "Was that a yellow light you just sped through? Slow down, we're going over 30 miles per hour." And the response being something like "But we're on the interstate . . .").
OK, so I didn't get any reports from The Grandma that the kids were driving too fast. I think one of the students even provided Sinatra music to listen to on the ride back, but I'm not sure. I was expecting to hear about all the embarrassing stories (you know, the typical Grandma fare, like "I'm so proud of my Ellie, blah blah blah," since that's usually the first thing out of The Grandma's mouth when she's talking to strangers about me.) But I've been told that nothing of the sort was discussed on the ride back from the airport. Or, at least, it hasn't appeared on the student's Green Room blog, or in the student newspaper yet.
The show went off without a hitch, and everyone's been saying good things about it. I know I enjoyed watching it again last Friday night. And, now, thankfully, it is over. That is the glorious thing about theatre--it's ephemeral, transient, TEMPORARY INSANITY with a deadline that comes and goes and leaves utter exhaustion in its wake. The important thing is that it comes and goes and then it's FINISHED. On this show in particular THAT aspect was a very good thing. Left to my own devices, I'd probably still be stitching more trim onto the costumes, and painting more details onto the set.
Well, I'll share more about the adventures of Spinster2000 and The Grandma soon. For now, just remember that "In matters of import, style not sincerity is the vital thing."
